I might
by dove the demi god
Summary: A girl (who's name I will not tell) has a hard life living in district 7. Living with all boys and not a girl in sight expect her friend and her friends younger sis. She is the one who provides food for her family and clothing and pretty much a life. Then she is chosen into the hunger games, but the arena is not like anything before. Will she survive? Who will win the Hunger Games?
1. Chapter 1

Hey y'all this is a idea that just popped in my head when I got bored.

I might live. Might. Who knows in this place. Might get chosen. Might die. Might survive. Might see the next day. Might not. This is how we live. This is how everyone lives. Trying to live even tho they're as good as dead. Everything here is do or die. Capital just tells us lies. All lies.

Today they choose those who will be in the annual Hunger Games. I might get chosen. I know I will be one of those who have a high chance of winning. I have been fighting since I was 3. Thanks to my Dad, who thought it was necessary with the fact I have 6 older brothers. 4 hate my guts, 2 love me to death. I don't like any of them. Either beating me up or being overprotective. Both overly suck.

But I'm thankful for my 'the one and only' friend. That's what she calls herself. It's annoying. Her name is Johanna, but I call her Joe. She hates me cause of that. We hunt in the morning and she makes out with her 'best friend' and practices axe-throwing in the afternoon. I practice sword, but mainly throwing anything in sight.

I'm a good thrower, can throw anything you give me 4 miles. Even a 45 lb boulder. I'm great at shot put. Always beat the boys and the girls never play. But I'm horrid with an axe.

I have the most abnormal looks ever. 100% blonde with grass green eyes. A lot of people say my eyes look like grass when a breeze comes in. They always say I'm beautiful to my face, but behind my back I'm plain scary. Rougher than sandpaper, some say. But I got my reasons.

* * *

"Ready for hunting?" Johanna says as she meets me in the back. She starts walking down the ally with her axe strapped under her jacket, but stops when she realizes I ain't following. "What now?" she asks giving me a once over. "It's choosing day, dimwit. No hunting remember." I say trying to keep the anger out of my voice. I hate the hunger games and anyone who is involved.

"Come on. This might be our last day." she whines. Might. Theres that word again. "Yeah, _might_. Always _might_. When is it ever yes or no. When do we ever know when it is finished or started. Or if it's a total, 100%, yes!" I shout at her. She opens her mouth, then shuts it and walks away.

I stand in front of two options of clothing I have this year for the choosing ceremony. My first choice is a green button down shirt with blue skinny jeans, the other one is a knee length blue jean dress with a brown belt. The dress was my Mom's. And it only fits me this year. I shrug and grab it.

After putting it on I stand in front of my mirror. My hair was up as usual. I wonder if it would be good down. I never wore my hair down since I was 3years old. That day something terrible happened. But I'm ain't gonna tell you cause I'm a jerk. I decided to wear my hair in a crown. A crown is when you wrap your hair around your head then pull the rest into a bun in the back. I check to see if the door is locked or not, then make sure no one is in my room.

I take my hair out and run a comb through my already perfect waves of hair. I twist it and wrap. When I finally clip the last piece of hair into place it's time. My Dad knocks on the door. "Hun, it's time for the choosing. You ready?"

"Not today and never will I be." I say back opening the door. That's what we do every choosing day. This is my fourth time that I _might_ be chosen. He smiles sadly and wraps his arm around my shoulders. My Dad was chosen when he was 12 and he survived, so I know I can win in the right area. And yes we live with all those crazy people who won the Hunger Games.

My Dad walks all of us down to the choosing. Albert (the oldest) is 19 so he will be with my dad. I have another brother who is 16, like me, the triplets are 17 and Alin is 18. The one who is my age is Catcal, but I call him Cece. He is one of the two who love me to death. So is Albert who right now wont let go of me. The others all run ahead of us or are trying to get dads attention.

When we have to do the blood thing all my brothers run up in front of me. I roll my eyes and wait my turn. The guy pricks my finger with out a second glance. He ask my name and I answer correctly. Then I find my spot in the crowd. Johanna waves me over and I stand by her. "Ready?" she asks. "Nope." I reply.

The little lady that represents distract 7 comes up and starts her regular speech. I zone out and watch a dove, perched on a tree branch. So innocent and free. I envied it's freedom. Not it's innocence. Then my ears switch on when she says the 'ladies first' quote. She fumbles around for a second and then pulls out a name.

I know who it is before she says it. "Joh-" "I volunteer as tribute!" I shout holding up my hand. Joe stares at me. So do all my brothers and dad. But my hand stays in the air, tall and strong. "Wonderful." The lady says, surprise smeared all over her ugly face.

Some of the dudes in all white come and get me. I can never remember what people call them, I just call them ghosts. They grab my arms and haul me up the stage. They didn't have to, I would gladly go up there myself. I stand next to scary lady.

"Whats your name, dear?" She asks with that high note at the end. "Esther, Esther Cabal." I say into the microphone. Everyone gives a small clap but my family holds up the X. Our signal for survive no matter what. I smile at them and wink. Then it's the boys turn. "Ummm, how do you say this?" the lady asks me stepping towards me and showing the paper.

I gasp. On that paper is my ex-boyfriend's name. "Jindal Calfers." I say staring at the paper. "Wonderful. Come up here...Jingdall?" She says it with a question mark at the end. I give a short laugh at her attempt. My family sighs a relief. I can kill Jindal. I'll survive.

* * *

They take us into separate rooms so we can say good bye to our families. My brothers come in first they all hug me and kiss the top of my head, but Albert picks me up in his arms and starts crying. "You better win, little sis. Or I'll die." He starts whimpering. I smile at him and kiss his cheek. "Sure, I'll win. I promise." I say and then they have to go.

My dad comes in next. "I will be with you on your journey. So this isn't good bye, but I love you. And I'm so proud of my baby girl." Is all he says. Then he turns and walks away.

Finally Joe comes in. "Why? Why did you do it? I could have gone instead of you. You have brothers and a dad to mother around. You need to stay here." she says staring at me. "I did it cause I know I will survive. I'm a better fighter than you and I don't trust people as easily as you do. I can kill, you never could kill a person. I care about you, your my sister that I never had. And what about Phobie and Violet?" I ask her holding her gaze.

"You're right. But promise me you will win." she finally says. I smile and nod my head. "I'll be back here before you know it." is the last thing I say to her before she is taken away. But it's not the last thing that happened. She handed me a note and we both nodded. A silent agreement comes between us.

I am put on the train with Jindal and my Dad.

* * *

**AN: Hey y'all. How are you baby goats? I got bored and just started writing this while waiting for me to be able to post another chapter of All Messed Up! I actually love the Hunger games and decided to write a fanfix about it. Also Johanna is not the one in Catching Fire but my friend and lots of the info about her is true. So tell me what you think. UM Jindal is pronounced how it looks like (Jin-dal). Pls review, fav, or follow(or all). Cya later humans. (Or other creatures).**


	2. Chapter 2

Jindal and I glare at each other as we are herded in. My dad sits in front of two chairs. The chairs sit right next to each other, the sides were touching. I sit down in one and push as far as I can away from the other chair, I still sit at the far end. Jindal looks at me with a hurt expression. I just stick my tounge out at him.

"Why, you little brat!" He said grinning at me. I glare daggers at him. His grin stays still. Then my dad clears his throat. We both glance at him then settle ourselves down. He smiles at us then begains saying a bunch of things about what we will be doing for next week or so before the games.

"Shut up old man. And listen here, and listen loud and clear. I'm not going to be thrown aside, you will be training me the same as you are training her. And no favorites. We will be treated equal or I'll get you in big trouble." Jindal said, snapping me out of my daydreams of birds and freedom. I glare at him and jump up.

"Don't ever call my dad 'old man'. Or I will kill you for certain in the games. I was actually thinking of forgetting and allying with you." I growl at him. He looks stunned. Then starts blinking rapidly. "What...really? You were willing to forgive. I thought you hated me." He says with bewilderment filling his voice. I roll my eyes. I need an ally and if I need to trust someone it's him.

My dad gets up. "Well, I guess I'll leave you two to figure things out." And then he walks away. I gape at him as he leaves, traitor. Then the sliding door closes shut, leaving me alone with Jindal.

* * *

I glance at Jindal. He is still in shock. "I'm not forgiving you for what you did to me. I just said I'll forget." I state not looking at him. He knows me well enough that I'm serious.

"Okay, well I thought you wont want to talk about it. But now that I know you do, let me speak my side of the story." He pauses to see if I will react. I don't. "I was just looking for you when Rally came by. She started pulling me to a corner and telling me to kiss her. I wouldn't cause I love you, and I would never do that. Plus I hated Rally. Then she forced me to kiss her right when you where walking up. She planned it. I didn't want to hurt you. I cared about you so much, I tired to explain but you didn't give me a chance." He looks at me pleadingly. I try to keep a straight face but can't help smiling, relieved.

He takes this as a sign that he's in the safe zone and smiles. But I was just glad to see he said love instead of loved. He still cares for me, and I love him too, but love is a weakness and I can't let that make me not able to kill him. I start crying.

Jindal immediately cradles me in his arms. He was strong, yet soft and warm. I breath in his smell, dirt and sweat. This smell always comforted me. My tears soon soak his shirt. Nobody cared tho. I couldn't stop crying and Jindal just whispered all the things I loved. "Flowers...forests...nature...fields...wings...birds...freedom...please don't cry, I love you." when he said that he loved me I cried harder.

I can't kill Jindal, I can't kill him like I thought.

* * *

The next morning I wake up in a new bed, a new room, a new everything. I almost puke. Knock. My dad comes in and he says something that I can't process. I just keep my straight face and go to breakfast. Oh yeah, and new people. I sit next to Dad, Jindal across from me, and freaky lady diagonal from me. I figured out that the old dude died for some weird reason and this was his replacement. But the weird part was that he was only 29.

"Well, this is a lovely breakfast." she says. She was around 28. And my Dad is the oldest here at 39. Jindal is 17.5 and I'm 16. The youngest again. I grab some muffins and a glass of oj. I eat and drink quickly. But I finish second, right after ugly lady. Thats her nick name Ugly.

I stand up and explore the train. I walk through a corridor with doors on either side. I check in all of them, most are bedrooms. Then I see a computer room, but I guessed it was off limits. And also a TV room. But at the end there was one more door that would lead me to the back of the train.

I walk in to see couches and pillows every where, and the walls were all windows accept the one I just came through. The windows show forests. I sit down and watch the forest and can't see the sun, this place will show sunsets. I allow a small smile to play across my lips. Then the door opens behind me.

My Dad comes in and sits down next to me. I glance at him, my small smile gone. I haven't smiled for along time the most was small smiles. "Hey hun. Are you ready?" he asks me. I now turn fully around and look at him. Then I realize he is for real.

"Not today and never will I be." I reply and sit back. He immediately grabs my shoulders and makes me face him. "Hun, I'm serious. Are you ready? I can see you changed. You can kill Jindal, right?" He asks searching my eyes. I don't reply, I can't. I have never disappointed my dad. **Never**. He realizes this.

"Oh hun..." He sits back with a look of clear hurt. His little baby girl might die, again. But what he doesn't know is that I'm going to survive. I will search the place for a secret passage. Theres always one but everyone is too stupid to see that. How else did my Dad win. He taught me this.

But the again part is pretty scary. And I know you goats want to know what it is. I want to tell you, trust me, I just don't think I can. Well not yet, I think. Maybe I will tell you. Who knows. But not now, not today, I just can't.

* * *

I stay in the back room for a long time after my Dad left. Then someone is calling my name. "Esther...Esther! Where are you?" It was Jindal. I stay still, looking out at the forest that was now turning into rolling fields. We are closer now. The door opens behind me, but I don't flinch.

"Hey, I've been looking every where-" He suddenly stops in mid-sentence. I look up at him but he is staring at the rolling fields. There are no fields in district 7, only forests, rivers, and buildings. Yet no fields. He sits down next to me. I smile a full smile, I'm the only one, out of my now only two friends, that has seen fields and hills. A place without trees.

My cheeks start to hurt from smiling. So I go back to my common straight lined mouth. And Jindal frowns when my smile disappeared. "What happened to your smile. It's too beautiful to be hidden. You need to smile more." He protests my straight mouth. I let one tiny smile slip, but it's gone as quick as it had come.

"I don't like smiling. And you, out of all people, should know that." I say, the memories threaten to come back. I get up and leave, being around Jindal makes me smile and smiling brings me back, and I don't want to go back. I am going to stay, for now.

* * *

**AN: Hey y'all. As you should have guessed the main character is based off of me. And my friend's, who gave me the idea of using her character, user name is Johanna12415. So check her out cuz she is one awesome gal. And if you have any questions just ask them in a review and I will answer in a AN. So that's it. Cya, baby goats! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

It's been two days. We are finally here.

People cheer on the sides of the train for us. I get up and look out at the people, there were thousands of them. I wave at them, just like how I heard one tribute did, and Jindal comes up and starts waving too. The cheers grow louder and louder. I let a small smile play across my lips.

When we get off people whisk us of to 'make us prettier'. My clothes are gone and they try to take every single piece of hair off my body. I just lay on the cold table wearing only a sheet. When they finish my sheet is replaced with a bathrobe. I kept pulling the sides together, I am very insecure. Then a lady who's hair is pixy cut, one side longer then the other with a blue highlight, comes in.

Her outfit is a green top with a hood and army pants. I like her. She also has combat boots! "Esther?" she says looking me up and down. "That's me." I reply hopping off the wood table I was sitting on. My long blonde hair falls over my shoulders and into my face. I pull my hair back and tuck it behind my ears.

She just continues studying me. She twirls her fingers, a motion for me to twirl. I twirl around, my hair twirls with me perfectly. I hate it. I was at tears when they told me that I can't have my hair up. And now I don't hold the tears back. I start crying, trying to make them feel guilty. The lady rushed towards me and screamed for them to get out. The three people who made me 'pretty' ran out.

She grabs a hair tie and pull my hair into a bun. I just stand, and start fighting tears. This lady gets me. "Why are you crying when your hair is down, but not up?" she asks, still studying me. "It's along story." I say looking down, I can feel blush starting on my cheeks. "Well we have time." She says and leads me into a room with chairs, pillows and couches everywhere.

* * *

I sit down in a chair and the lady pulls a chair up in front of me. I think of where to start with my story. Should I do the day or before that? I know!

"Well, first I'll tell you about my brothers. The oldest is Albert, he is 19. The youngest is 16, like me, his name is Catcal. We are not twins. I have triplet brothers, all are 17. And Alin is 18, this was his last year. But I could never forget Catty, he is dead. He was only 7years old when he died. Just like Jit was only 6years old. She was my only sister and Albert's twin. I loved both of them so much I never stopped crying. And my mom died too, that same day." I stop to take a breath and look at the lady. She stared at me with golden eyes.

I gulp and continue. "When ever I wear my hair down something bad happened to them. When Jit broke her arm for the first time, my hair was down. When Catty's dog got shot, my hair was down. When my mom's baby died in her stomach, my hair was down. The day they died, my hair was down. So I made a promise never to wear my hair down. I always wear my hair up, now. That day still haunts me, forever. They where murder because of me. We were starving and the three of them stole food. My mom stole bread, my brother stole a whole roast, and my sister stole five pots of soup. They all where caught and killed before the ghost arrived, or what ever you call those men that dress in all white. The person who killed them became a slave and that was it. They almost took me, too. You know as a slave, but my hair was up that day."

I can't go on. I can't say how the day they died was also the day I got my first kiss or the day my dad took the house and money that was his. I never say that was the day I did self harm or the day my big brother locked me in a room with Catcal and the triplets. I don't say any of that. I just let the tears come, rolling down my face, for I say the deaths of my siblings and mom. But no one knows that I saw them get killed. Or that every night I wake up screaming or crying.

I always see everything. I never can stay pure or free. Not from seeing. The lady wraps me in her arms, I can tell she was still studying. I found a new friend. "That was heart breaking, but at least I know exactly what your dress looks like." she says, trying to cheer me up.

"A dress?" I say, I hate dresses yet love them all the same. She nods and we get up and go into the room with the long wood table, the other three people come in and she tells us her thoughts and ideas.

* * *

"How about the inner layer is a dark green. And lets make is skin tight but the bottom have a little fluff. Oh, and a sweetheart neck line. The lets have off the shoulder straps. And light green over the dark green, but have a cut down the middle of the light green. Lets make it flow more then the dark. Like away from the body. And shred the bottoms up a tiny bit. Perfect." the lady says as she sketches it out.

"What about the shoes?" I say studying the picture. It was a very beautiful dress. And my style. You could easily run in this dress and dance or fight. I love dancing, my mom was a dancer and I have her shape. Skinny, tall, yet curvy and small. I also have her legs. Strong and steady, but graceful and quick. I love my body, it's pretty much perfect. The dress fits my body.

"There is no shoes, you're going bare foot." she says, smiling as the others stare at her. Jindal and his stylists are here too. And Jindal is grinning like crazy, obviously imagining me in the dress. I give him a small look that says 'really'. His grins grows.

"I love that dress! It's perfect and matches Jindal's outfit." Jindal's designer says. Jindal winks at me and I roll my eyes. We use to fight over who was more beautiful. I, of course, always won. The designers see our little signals, they all smile greedily.

"What?" Jindal says, hesitantly. "You two are a couple and you never told us!" one of my stylists says. I face palm so hard it hurt. They all wait for what we will do next. Jindal stands up and walks over to me. He pulls me out of my seat and plants a kiss right onto my lips. I was so surprised that I allowed him to kiss me.

When we finally part I take a step away from him. He just grins, but doesn't take his arms away from my waist. I smile and I am back to when we were 14 and kiss him back. This time we both are kissing each other. It felt wonderful, like a good memory that is warm and makes you laugh and fills you. I felt filled right now, full of true young love.

* * *

**AN:Hey y'all, how are you baby goats? Sorry about not writing so much, but I have a life, lol. Any way I decided to throw in some more romance cause I'm in the mood for some good romance. And there is more to her story. And she did get her first kiss that day and more followed when she turned 13. Esther is me, but we have different eyes. Who doesn't like to go bare foot? Also I got the flu:(! Anyway pls follow, fav, or review. (COMMANDING YOU PEOPLE)! Cya, baby goats.**


	4. Chapter 4

It's weird to have everyone know about my love. I am not that person who runs around telling everyone about my lover

I walk down the hall to go to my room where lady waits for me, so I can try on my dress. A girl passes me, she snickers at me and whisper lover. A boy then passes and reaches out and pinches my arm. "Hey!" I call out, he turns around grinning.

Thats it! I jump at him, I push him against the wall and start rapidly punching him in the face. His nose starts bleeding and a tooth flies out. Blood is everywhere. I am dragged away by two other tributes. "Calm down girl! Your going to kill him before the games." one of the boy tributes that was pulling me away yells.

"Good!" I say and try to lunge at the jerk again. The two boy tributes finally manage to calm me down, I was breathing hard and giving the death stare at the other tribute. My knuckles where a mixture of his blood and my blood from the cuts on my knuckles. One of the boys holds me still and whispers for me to calm down and to breath. The other one goes over to the jerk and helped him up.

The jerk tries to attack me. I don't even flinch, just look at him. He was lead away by the other boy. The dude that was holding me still relaxes. "I had this under control, I was perfectly fine until you guys showed up. I can handle myself." I say calmly to the boy.

"You call that handling yourself? If it wasn't for me and Biddy that boy would have died! And you will be a main target in the games. Your lucky I don't like killing people or I would kill you in the games." The boy said to me. I smirk, him kill me? Ha, yeah right!

"I would kill you before you ever saw me." I say, but then think. Would I really? "Your lucky you came in time or I would have killed him. Want to join my alliance with Jindal?" I ask, he did save me. Well at least from being a huge target. The boy stares at me.

"Me? Join you and your boyfriends little team? Aren't you, like, extremely strong and better then, well, everyone? I heard that your Dad won the Hunger games and taught all his children to fight and survive." He said, totally bewildered.

"Yep, and I have been training since I was around 3 years old." I say, I am very proud. He smiles and nods his head yes. I already have a plan to get rid of him at the end, then make Jindal survive and me, well 'die'. I walk away from the boy, stoping to wash my hands on my way to my room.

* * *

I was right, the dress does fit me perfectly. It hugs my curves in all the right places, but doesn't make me too appealing. So I guess it's modest. And I look amazing in it! She ties my hair into a side pony tail, my curls are free to move around, but are still trapped in place. Then a crown of silver sticks wrapped together with green flowers is placed gently on my head, then clipped into place.

I look in the mirror, there was a totally different girl in the mirror. This girl was a mature, beautiful dancer, that would never kill anyone. Like princess of the forest look, but not. It did show the happy memories in my life. All are flowing and soft, happy and jumpy. I felt, good.

Well now I might win the favor of people, I might gain everyones hate. And there goes all those mights. This might come in handy to get everyones favor, cause this could mean life or death. I might, I might, I might, and well this might.

* * *

The day comes for the chariot ride. I get in my dress, the lady applies make up and does my hair for me. It is time to see Jindal in his outfit. When I see him my mouth drops open. I shake my head and close my mouth. He has a dark green suit with a light green shirt underneath. He is bare foot too and his dark black hair is combed perfectly, and there is a sort of flip to it.

I have never seen him in a suit, or in green. It brings out his dark eyes, one is dark brown and the other is dark blue. Most people find his eyes scary, but his eyes are my favorite thing about him. Their unique.

We climb into our chariot. "You look hot." he whispers in my ear. "Yeah, hotter then you, but don't worry you're still the second most hottest person here." I whisper back. He grins at me, and we laugh together. The lady and man come over to us.

"You guys our going to hold hands and make sure the audience sees. And at the end when you are 100 yards away from the balcony, kiss." the man says and they walk away.

"Do they think we just kiss each other all the time?" I ask, rolling my eyes. Jindal just nods his head, grinning. I have to smile too and we burst out laughing.

Our horses are brown Thoroughbreds. They have green harnesses and bridles, and green flowers and vines are covered all over them. The chariots ahead of us start moving. My hand immdentialy goes for Jindal's. He grabs my hand and our hands intertwine. When we get out into the open we raise our hands above our heads. People cheer and scream.

I smile and Jindal starts laughing, then we both start laughing. 500yards, 400yards, 300yards, 200yards. We are almost at 100yards to the balcony, Jindal puts our hands down, turns to me and pulls me towards him. I smile and we kiss. The crowd goes crazy. I ignore them and focus on Jindal.

* * *

**AN: Hey y'all! How are you baby goats? Yeah she almost kills someone and asks some random person to be her and Jindal's allies. How fun, and they kiss in front of everyone. What happens next? Will Esther be teased again? Will she have a enemy? Will Esther win the favor of everyone? Who knows? Me duh. LOL! Pls fav, follow, or review(COMMANDING)! Cya, baby goats.**


	5. Chapter 5

Tributes walk over to us after the chariot ride. They either smile at us, or glare at us. I like those who glare, it will make life easier. Better to hate here then love here. It's easier to kill them that way.

A tribute, I think he is from 11, comes up and pulls me into a bear hug. I shove him away from me. Weirdo. He just shrugs and walks away, Jindal pulls me to him. I give him a small smile, I still barley smile. He grins down at me and we go to find my Dad and Ugly. The lady is with them when we find them.

"Hey, I just realized I don't know your name." I say to the lady. She smiles knowingly at me.

"My name is Lady." she says with a sweet laugh. Woah! My nick name for her was her actual name! That is shocking. I burst out laughing, it hurts to laugh since all my laughs are short. But I couldn't help myself. I kept laughing for at least a full minute! "Whats so funny?" she asks staring at me with wide eyes.

"Nothing...it's just... in my head... I called you lady... and...well...your name is actually...Lady!" I manage to gasp out. This usually never happens. She just gives a short laugh and so does Ugly and Dad. Jindal just gives me a concerning look and herds me to the elevator. This just makes me give one last short laugh. A laugh that will last forever.

When I get back into my room I throw on some pjs and snuggle into my bed. The bed was soft and felt sort of like a cloud. The comforters were extremely fluffy and warm. I felt like I was flying. I lay in bed thinking of flying until sleep captures me.

* * *

_I run around a corner. 'No, I still have time! They can't go there! He is coming!' I turn another corner and race down the alley! 'Almost there!' The last corner approaches. I hear a scream, then another. Someone pleading. 'Please!' I glance over the corner's brick wall. There is the man with a bloody butchers knife. I scream right when the knife comes striking down on my mom's neck. Blood flows, my mom falls down, dead. I start to edge out of my place. But then I see them. My two siblings are killed with the same fate as my mom's. I scream and cry. The man sees me. He starts coming towards me. The bloody knife ready for another blow. I run to my mom and older siblings, I grab the roast and bread. Then I sprint away. The man is right at my heels. My mom's and sibling's death wont be for nothing. I am weighed down a step because of the food. This is enough for the man. He grabs my hair and pulls me to a stop. I scream louder then I ever could and catch a glimpse of the knife._

* * *

I wake up screaming. I'm covered in sweat. I breath hard and brush my fingers through my hair. I silently sob to myself. Rocking and sobbing, trying to pull it together even tho I know it wont work. So I let the tears flow and the rocking try to comfort myself. Then Jindal runs in.

"Are you okay?...Oh my god! What's wrong? Did you...you know, have that nightmare, again?" he asks walking over to me and pull me into his arms. He holds me and I sob and rock. He starts whispering and I try to pull it together. Which is hard when I'm in the arms of a boy who I _might_ have to kill.

Soon I fall asleep, with one last tear falling down my cheek. And dreams don't come.

* * *

When I wake up I am still in Jindal's arms. His cheek is resting against the top of my head. I smile and shake his arm. I may love this boy to death, but if I need to get out of his arms he can wake up! Jindal wakes up and yawns, then checks the time. "It's only 8 o,clock! What do you need?" Jindal says, angry that I woke him. I smile and peck him on the lips.

"Let me go, Ugly!" I say in a normal, cutie, girlfriend way. I hated those girls, boys can take care of themselves without a females comfort. Jindal pushes me away from him and curls up in _my_ bed. Then his eyes pop open. He just realizes that he is in my bed and that he fell asleep with me in his arms. "Um, I was never here." he says and runs out of my room.

We used to sleep together when ever I needed him, I guess tonight I needed him most. Which is weird cause I don't need people or even like them. What? I'm anti-social. Anyway, when I say sleeping together, it's when I have a nightmare, and he comes in and rocks me back to sleep. I always was comforted by him, his strong arms holding me, keeping me at bay. Because of him, I didn't turn insane.

I jump out of bed and take a quick, icy shower. It was hard to pick today's outfit, not. A training outfit laid on my bed. I pick it up, a gray tank top with army pants. I easy put it on. I felt like they were sending me to go fight their little battles. But that just made me more determined to get what I want and trick the capital. Watch out Snow, I'm coming.

* * *

I trained hard. People stared at me as I easily hit the orange figures that ran across the room that I practiced in. Each time I hit a target, each time I was filled with pride. I will get a 10-12 for a score, I will get requests to be my ally, and I will win. No more 'I mights'. This time it is I will. And I will try my hardest to have me and Jindal survive.

Today for practice I decided to try close up combat. I practice with dummies first, when I found my target each time, I went for the room. I will try close up combat with the orange figures. I barely got all my targets after I finished. One figure swept my feet out from under me and another almost slit my throat. I was able to get up quickly and defect the other one. But barely.

When I was done Jindal came up to me and grinned. "What?" I asked, grinning is _not_ a good sign. "The mode was set on easy." he says and burst out laughing. My face falls, _easy_, I barely survived _easy! _Jindal kept laughing for another 10seconds, then I got sick of it and punched him in the gut. He grunts and glares at me. I smile.

* * *

**AN: Hey y'all! How are you baby goats? Yeah so I'm happy/not at all. So Esther is not 100% based off of me, SHOCKER! She is only 50% based off of me. I would never almost kill someone unless they killed a loved one. Then maybe. And I would never date a person, I aint so soft. Also I wouldn't just ask a random dude who saved my reputation to be my ally. But our looks are mostly the same, sometimes my eyes turn green. And Esther is not my name, Dove is my name, _doi_. Anyway, pls fav, follow, or fav(COMMANDING)! Cya baby goats!**


	6. Chapter 6

Today we have our interviews. Lady made a dress for me, well duh. But her dress isn't just a 'dress'. It tells my story and exactly what district 7 is all about. It is brown, plain brown. A sleeveless dress that fits my body perfectly. But if you stare at it for along time you can see people, moving, dancing, fighting, cutting down trees. You can see forests with people running around and laughing. You can see couples and people working to survive. But you can see a girl in a street with a man holding her still by her hair, with a bloody butchers knife.

I smile so wide it actually hurt. Then it was time for make up and hair. My hair is pulled tightly back into a french braid. Lady puts leaves and sticks in my hair. Then she applies brown eyeshadow, mascara, eyeliner, and, of course, blush. I look in the mirror. I have the features of a living tree. My father told me a story about living trees. I will tell you guys later.

The make up made my eyes heavy. I wanted just to keep my eyes closed, but I can't because my eyes play a huge part in my outfit. I blink quickly, trying to get used to the fact there is a bunch of crap on my face. Don't worry it isn't real crap. Unless make up is made out of crap. And this time I have shoes! Shocker. The shoes are green ballet shoes that have ribbons wrapped around my legs.

I go to wait for my turn for the interview. Don't worry, I probably wont laugh or smile. People wear dresses and suits, all different colors and designs. But none are as great as mine. No, I am not self centered, most of the time. People wait, get called, work their magic, and then walk away. Glad that it is over. When it's my turn I don't even worry. I already got their favor, I just need their favor to grow.

* * *

"Now it's time for what you all have been waiting for! The girl who loves! The girl with a heartbreaking story! She is _Esther_!" Blue guy shouts to the crowd. Wait, how did he know about my story? I frown and walk on stage. Pretend to be sad that you will lose your boyfriend.

"Hello." I say with a, not even pretending to, quivering smile. He frowns and makes a awww sound to the crowd. Yep, feel guilty stuffed turkeys! "Esther! How have you been? Wait never mind! What we all want to know is how are you love birds doing?" He asks me, dripping with greed.

"We are managing. Doing the best _we_ can to train so one of us can, at least, go home." I say with a true frown and sniffle a little. I resist to gulp. I gulp when I am extremely nervous.

"I bet you will go home. I can tell you will because I heard your dad trained you to fight when you were around 3?"

"Yep. Right after my mom and two of my many older siblings died."

"Oh, and how many siblings do you have right now?"

"Six older brothers and my dad." I do another quivering fake smile.

"Wow! Did you hear that! Six brothers? And your the only girl?"

"Yep. I had to teach myself to survive being a female."

"Well, how is it training with your boyfriend?"

"It has been...fun. Especially when I figured out that I practiced sword on easy mode." The crowd erupts with laughter.

"I bet. So, tell us about your dress. Plain brown?"

"It shows my story and what district 7 is all about. You can see many things that we do in district 7. Like dancing, fighting, and well we are lumber jacks."

"You dance? Do you mind showing us some moves." I freeze. I never danced in public before. Plus I only know ballroom dancing.

"Um, well you see...I don't dance in public. Or well, anywhere. So, sorry." I say gently to blue haired. He makes a huge frowney face to the crowd and then looks at his watch.

"Well, I'm sorry to say that Esther, our interview has to come to an end." The crowd awws and then I get up and before I leave I have to say one more thing.

"I might." And then I walk off stage and go to watch Jindal's interview.

* * *

Jindal's interview went sort of like mine. Blue hair asked him about me and how we met, and about home. He asked if Jindal can dance too. Then Jindal made a huge move. Something that surprised even me. He got up and said 'I'm going to do it! Right after this interview!', and of course blue hair asked him what he meant. And Jindal explained to blue hair what it meant, he was going to take me on a date.

A date? In the middle of preparation for the games? He is crazy. Yep, he lost his mine. We are all going to explode. Jindal walks off stage and pulls me into a kiss. When we manage to pull away I slap him. "You are crazy!" He just grins at me. Boys!

"I know. So...I manage to persuade Snow into letting us stay on the roof for the day, and take a walk through a garden during lunch hours." He exclaims. I just roll my eyes, even tho it did sound fun. Skip a day of training.

"That sounds sort of fun." I say to him and then lead him to our rooms. I'm done with the capitol for one day.

* * *

The nightmares come, but I didn't scream or cry. I don't want to wake up Jindal. So, I just simply just catch my breath and rock myself to sleep. No more dreams. Not tonight. Never again.

**AN: Hey y'all! What's up baby goats? Sorry about never typing anymore. I barely get to go on the computer anymore. And sorry about the short chapter. Oh well, you will live. Anyway shocker? Should I do Jindal's POV? Pls tell me in a review. I badly want to do a chapter (or at least half a chapter) in Jindal's POV. So as the usual, Pls fav, follow, or review (COMMANDING YOU WITH MY MAGICAL POWERS)! I wont be posting a chapter every week as I'm guessing, so Sorry for long waits. Cya baby goats. **


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